My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
