let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
