did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
