i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
