That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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