Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
