I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
