Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
