She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
