I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
