She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
