also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
