So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
