my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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