porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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