I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
