I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
did i walk over a car last night?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
