I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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