Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
