u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
