if you like me you must not know who I am
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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