Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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