It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
