Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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