Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
