sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
