I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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