he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My bed smells like the plague
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
