I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
