I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
