someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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