4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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