She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
