You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
false alarm, still single
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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