Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
