I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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