I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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