I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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