"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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