she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
