we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
