I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
