Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
