If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
