im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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