Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
