on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
