..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
