I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So vagazzling was a success
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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