So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
